Saturday, November 5, 2016


It's almost 3 hours to go for my 28th birthday and it's been such a mixed-up, mish mash of a day...ermm..year!

I didn't want to write a reflective post, and this blog is usually my happy place, but I feel like for once it's time to be a tad reflective.

Or maybe, maybe, it is time to get up onto some rooftops and shout to myself - "Look how far you've come! Look at where you're standing!"

These days I am so very fascinated with the concepts of happiness and sadness. How social construct affects our perceptions of our life. How some people manage to be genuinely, intensely, carelessly happy, inspite of every hardship life throws at them; and how others tend to drown in sadness at every little hitch (or perceived shortcoming) in their path.

I wonder at how difficult it really is to change your inner equilibrium; the one you were born with and/or acquired over the years; to change that and to train yourself into becoming something you're not. We read and know of so many inspiring, amazing success stories. People who have seen and overcome unforeseeable circumstances. All of us know someone like that - either in our personal lives or in the form of persons we've admired; stories we've read about.

People, in general, tend to persevere. People shine. People go on. People triumph. People live.They beat the odds.

How is it then that some of us get caught in the quagmire of life and are just unable to find our shine? The exact frequency we were supposed to be attuned to? Some of us spend our entire lives feeling like we're out of tune with the world. Some of us just can't stop feeling like there's something wrong, somewhere.

Maybe this is what mental illness is. Maybe this is what it looks like.

I'm sure most of us don't understand what goes on in another person's head. Everyone's mind is a beautiful place. Only difference being, some of us get the morning light kind of beauty, and others get the midnight storm kind of one.

I think that's probably what happiness and sadness are all about. Light and storm. And maybe, just maybe, it's possible to graduate from one to another. To find the light in the middle of a storm. To balance all that shine with some rain.

And isn't that what we're all really trying to do?

Let's stop trying to make our lives a competition, for once. A sad rat race of who shines brighter. Let's focus on ourselves, only ourselves, for a change. Let's shine for ourselves. Let's weather storms by ourselves.

Let's love ourselves. 

Let's just BE ourselves.

Halsey once sang - "I hope you make it to the day you're 28 years old."

I officially made it. 

Let's see what happens next, shall we?

Sunday, May 1, 2016

On happiness

I don't think I will ever get over how beautiful Sunday mornings are! The fact is, Sunday is like just any other day, but we value it that much more, because on the rest of the days we wake up, get out of bed, and start running before our feet hit the ground. Sundays, we pause. We breathe. We smile.

This past month, I have been thinking a lot and writing a lot about happiness. Most of you will find it silly, because happiness is natural, right? Well, it is mostly, it's our basic human instinct, we can and do smile and laugh through everything. But some of us are just a little more prone to...ahem...some melodrama and melancholy. And writers, I think, more than anyone else.;)

So I started doing 100 days of happiness, after a friend suggested it to me some time back - when I was whining about how miserable I am (in general). Even though I scoffed at him at the time, I took it up on a whim later on.

It has been a fabulous exercise, keeping me preoccupied with the positive things in life, and has pushed me to do something fun every single day. I am just happy in general, and I remember to be kind to people who are not, and I think this is fast becoming a habit that will last all my life. I've started breaking out of my shell and I've started stepping out of home everyday to collect new experiences and new stories to tell. Happiness is most often found in the simplest of things, and it is your attitude that makes all the difference in the world, this I now know.

More than anything, the challenge has brought out my inner creativity in ways nothing else has in a very long time, and frankly I am enjoying myself too much! This is like falling in love with myself, in the best way possible!

To quote Baloo from Jungle book - "Look for the bare necessities/The simple bare necessities/Forget about your worries and your strife/I mean the bare necessities/Old Mother Nature's recipes/That bring the bare necessities of life" : D

Apart from this, I have been reading a lot of poetry, both online and offline, and that helps one grow and teaches one things nothing else in life can.

I have been writing a lot, but nothing is as simple as coming here and spilling out my ramblings in plain, archaic prose. Here, I don't worry about beauty, it's all just staple fare and thought expression that leaves me feeling extremely satisfied. I'm surprised people still read this stuff, in this era of instancy and microblogging... (I mean, Blogger has become redundant)... but here I am, journaling away to glory, and here you are too, watching me do it!

 Another thing I don't understand is why everything in this world is suddenly and certainly becoming shorter and smaller? Conversations, clothes, food, letters, write-ups, dreams, winters? Stories? I'm sure there's more to that list.

I, for one, am all for very very long text messages and long letters and elaborate poetry and long conversations about nothing. Let's waste our time, because we can. Lets' delve into all the people around us, the stories, discover their quirks. Don't be lazy, share yourself, tell your stories, make people laugh.

Wonder about life's purpose, then stop wondering and start living, like I did, because that's what we're all here for today.

Have a beautiful Sunday, ladies and gentlemen! :)

Wednesday, December 30, 2015

Hello! 2016

I suppose it's that time of the year once again. That time to take stock and to remember your deserted blog. (AND I've started rhyming even in prose!)

I remember writing on this blog, sometime last year; that 2015 was going to be a year that matters. Well, it did turn out to be that, and much more.

So in the end, here I am, sitting in front of my PC, one day to go for year-end, and I am happy. And that's primarily why it was a year that mattered.

More than anything, this year, I've learnt to own my words once again, something that makes me very very happy. So hello world, this is me, Aayushi, and I write. All the time.

So yes, even though I haven't sufficiently veered off-course yet (as far as my blog writing traditions go), here are some of the things I've come to realise this year. That, combined with the cumulative experience of my 27 years of existing on this planet :P

(As usual, I'm back to dispensing gyaan for free on my personal blog. I'm quite full of myself that way.)

What was the topic at hand? Ah, here are the things I learnt -


Want to be happy? Only you can and should be responsible for your own happiness. Counting on someone else just doesn't pan out in the long run. People leave. People die. People change. People change their minds. People get busy. So count on yourself. No one knows better than me how difficult this actually is in practice, to be responsible for your own happiness, when you're not happy per se. But try this. Put yourself first. Your happiness before everyone else's. Be selfish. Do whatever you want/need. Make yourself happy. And see where that takes you. I promise you, it will work, if you try.

Make your health a priority. Your body is wonderful, but it has it's limitations. Take care of it. Exercise, breathe, meditate. Rest. Stay fit. Exercising is also one of the best ways to improve your mental health and your body image.

Find your passions and pursue them. Pursue them relentlessly. Unabashedly. Stop thinking about what will they think. Do what you like. You will look back and be happy that you did.

Live alone. Travel alone. Shop alone. I haven't really done all of these in the strictest sense of the term, but I have sort-of done these, and I would love to do more of these next year. However I do always shop alone, and it is the fastest way to get that job done!

Get out of your comfort zone. Do things that make you uncomfortable/anxious. Expand your horizons. That's the only way to keep your life interesting, and to let yourself learn and grow. Even if you end up as a sad blubbering mess of jumbled up words, do it. Just because, the next time you try that particular thing, you won't mess up that bad.

Acquire one new skill. (I haven't really acquired any this last year, I'm sorry to report. However, I may have sort of learnt the very fine art of saying no; something that is quintessential to your survival in society at large). So yes, skills. Someday, you will come to realise that you are an adult, with responsibilities, and when that happens, the only things you have to count on are yourself, your skills, and your education. So keep learning. And acquire one new skill every year, atleast.

Write letters. And not online ones. No e-letters. No blog posts or Facebook posts. This is one of the best things I learnt this year. Write actual letters. Sign them. And put them in an envelope. A letter becomes an almost miraculous thing. Something to be cherished forever. Something which can be stored, re-read, which can actually be felt with your hands. Not a link to the internet. Not the backlight of your phone screen showing you some words. An actual letter. On paper. Addressed to you in an envelope. A story someone decided to tell you. A message someone wrote down just for you. Explore this bit of magic in the world.

Write a letter to someone you love, today. And hand it over to them. It will be truly awesome.

Don't forget to take time out for yourself. Stop, pause. Take a break. Take a vacation. Take that day off. You will work much better on the rest of the days.

I don't want this post to sound like all of those on (I do realise that is an irony), but yeah, read It's just fun and probably quite useful. I mean, might be some of the most sensible advice some people get, about anything. Keep visiting to get new ideas and perspectives about your own life.

Work hard. Because really, nothing can be more satisfying or make you happier. Find what drives you and start moving up that ladder. Start paving the way for your success.

Find the people and the things that make you laugh. And don't let go of them. ;)

Teach. Discover the joy of imparting knowledge, of influencing someone, changing their mind and helping them grow in a minor way. When you notice that small spark of respect in their eyes, or receive an affectionate thank you, that's when you'll realise how important it is to teach. Start giving back what was once given to you.

Okay I have (finally) started to feel very preachy, so I am going to stop. (Also I have run out of things to further preach about. I just wanted to say hi to you all. That was the entire point of this post!).

Ending this post with a poem, one of my favorites from this year. Just because.

See you all next year. Comments are most welcome. I will try my best to reply, I swear on 2015.


Let's be a poem (Version III)

You be the beginning
(Once upon a time)
The pirate at sea who
Wears a black patch o'er his eye

I’ll be hiding somewhere
Lost amidst these lines -
The maiden who doesn’t know
Where her true heart lies

You bring in the story
I’ll stir up the rhymes,
You tell all the jokes
I’ll be the laughter that chimes

You can be the syntax
(Words that sit together just right)
I’ll be the grammar
(Compulsively correcting from the sides)

You'll be the narrator
I, the script writer,
You, the lead actor
I, the paramour

You say all the words
I’ll add the punctuation,
You start all our songs
I’ll bring in the rhythm

You be the black ink
That scribbled all over my white,
Together making a picture ,
So pleasing to the eyes

You be the syllables
That leave behind many a sigh
And I will be the images
To fill up the reader’s mind

Oh we could be a poem, we could,
And I.

-Aayushi Mehta (2015).

Friday, November 13, 2015

Let art save you tonight

Let art save you tonight.

Take all those thoughts, those feelings, those memories. Those dreams. That love, that pain. That laughter, those tears. That nothingness. Take what you find. And create something.

Write a letter. Tell a story. Paint a picture. Sketch a face. Cook a dish. Hum a melody.

Write a poem.

Write a poem everyday.

Make dessert. Eat dessert. Call a friend and tell a joke. Play with a baby. Play with a dog. Smile at the most beautiful person you see walking down the street.

Make art.

Watch nature. Watch the green on the trees. Feel the wind in your face. Hear the songs of the sea.

Fall in love. Take the plunge. Tell your story. Start your story. Say the words you’re afraid to say.

Make art tonight.

Kiss his lips. Kiss her eyes. Paint your face. Dress up like a dream. Lay underneath the stars.

Go find a hand to hold. Dig up that old photograph of you laughing.

Give in to origami. Practice yoga by the beach. Take a pair of scissors and shape that paper. Or shape your hair.

Build sand castles. Send out messages in bottles. Send out postcards. Buy gifts for everyone you love.

Go out and make some art tonight.

Set out on an adventure. Trek up the nearest or farthest mountain you find. Swim deep into the ocean. Jump off that cliff with a rope around your ankle.

Make conversation. Find a song that makes you cry. Sit by the candle light. Tell him he’s beautiful. Tell him he’s amazing. Tell her she’s gorgeous. Tell her the stars can never compare.

Sit down to dinner with your mother. Go for a walk with your father. Hug your brothers and sisters. Finish that book you never ended up reading.

Immerse yourself in some art tonight.

You will be all the better for it. You will wake up tomorrow with a smile. You will await the sunrise with eager eyes. You will have healed and you will have smiled. You will have found the courage for tomorrow’s fight.

Because there’s always time for some more art, tonight.

- |Songs of my heart|

(Reposted from my tumblr - 13.11.15. Dedicated to the amazing people you tend to meet in life. For the love of art. For the love of words.) 

Sunday, March 15, 2015

On Character

So I've had this idea drumming around my head all this week, and I have been coming across stuff everywhere, which made me wake up today morning, wanting to write this post.

You know that everyone goes through a tough time once in a while. Do you know someone who doesn't?

Imagine these two scenarios -
There is one person who has fought very, very hard for something, fought again and again, maybe failed a few times, and yet worked day and night for that one thing, and then finally got what he/she wanted.

And then there's another person, who was naturally talented, who was always lucky, who did work for it, but then basically just got what they wanted, seemingly quite easily. Basically, the stars were in their favour. They had it good, and they had it all. Naturally gifted, intelligent, and worked just enough but nowhere near as much as the person above.

So whom would you respect more? And whose story would you want to read?

You would probably be jealous of the second person, who had it easy, but who would be the person with more character? More things learnt in life? More stories to tell? More of a backbone to fight? Clearly the first person, the one who had it tough.

It is only over the past few years that I've truly become passionate about something, discovered that there can, for all practical purposes, be a fire lit up under my ass and I could work, I could run, I could rush towards a goal. And I could be very very happy about it. I could set higher goals for myself. I could set impossible goals. And I could slog like a donkey, with sweat and tears, thanklessly, but I could. All for that one end goal.

Being ambitious does have a sinister beauty.

And until a couple of years back, I didn't know what the hell I was doing with my life. I hated studying, I hated exams. There was basically no fire. Anywhere. 

So I just wanted to say, discover your passion. Ask yourself, what do you want? If you don't have the answer, go find the answer. Go looking. When you do have the answer, set a goal. Aim for yourself. Aim very, very high. Let the world laugh. Know that nothing is impossible. Know that the beauty is in the journey to the top, and not at the top itself.

And know that even if you don't make it to the top, because we all AREN'T that lucky, you will be better for the journey. You will be better because you tried to climb, and you aimed high. Atleast you had character enough for that.

Never, ever, ever, aim low. Because then, who's going to know what you were capable of? You never let yourself find out.

Give yourself some hardship. Throw yourself into chaos. Stretch your limits. Let yourself learn, grow, take shape. Jump into the next adversity that crosses your way. (Ha! the irony). When life starts to get comfortable, remember to push yourself a little more. Demand more from yourself.

Because what is the fun in having everything handed to you on a silver platter? Your silver platter? If someone else has something else you want on their platter, try snatching. Go ahead, try it.

You never know what may land on your plate.

I'm not saying work yourself to death. I am not saying living an easy life is bad. I'm not saying kill yourself with work.

All I'm saying is once in a while, pursue your dreams. All those crazy, impossible ones. Because without that, what would be the point?

And this isn't even all about work. This could be about anything. If you love someone, jump into it, drown in it. For once, stop being cautious or practical and stop holding yourself back. Hell, having your heart broken is probably the best character-building exercise you're ever going to go through in your life. Embrace it. Embrace the heartbreak.

(At this point I may or may not sound terribly masochistic. You decide.)

If your dreams take you along a difficult path, don't drop them by the side and fall off the road. Persevere, for god's sake.

Don't forget, character, that's what you want.

This Quote - 

"Why do we even try? When the barriers are so high, and the odds are so low? Why don't we just pack it in and go home? It'd be so, so much easier...

It's because in the end, there's no glory in easy. No one remembers easy. They remember the blood, and the bones, and long, agonizing fight to the top. And that, is how you become legendary
" - Grey's Anatomy, Season 11, Episode 14.

Much love, and it is great to have this blog back.

I'll get around to adding the comics. Maybe. Probably not.

Sunday, September 14, 2014

This is goodbye

I feel like I need to clean up my blog. Or that I need to hide it from...people? Real life? The world? (The one outside of the computer?)

And that's just not acceptable to me.

So, until further notice, this is goodbye.

P.S. It was a great love story, this blog, if there ever was one, and that love is still well and alive and strong. It's just going newer places. 

Tuesday, May 13, 2014

Eternal romaticism

Is anyone else sick of all the "Be Beautiful" ads on Youtube? They make you feel totally un-beautiful if you don't apply make up and eyeliner everyday like a pro and make french braids with your hair. And why do all their names always start with an 'A'? :S

I'm loving/hating the Bombay summer this year. My family is still hell-bent on force-feeding me mangoes multiple times a day, and it's still scorching hot out there, but it all seems to be bearable. Also, as a dermatologist-to-be, I actually care about sunscreens. Ha!

It all seems hilarious in retrospect.

It's been ages since I blogged about something serious. But serious blogging requires motivation, and enthusiasm, and passion. I think I've just redirected whatever store I had of all those into a different direction. (Ahem...studies...ahem..) (No wait..I think it's Candy Crush Saga, truth be told...)

I read the newspapers today to note that India recorded the highest ever voter turnout this year, and I am proud to have been part of that voting population. Whosoever wins, I think it is definitely going to be a change for the better.

It's so easy when you're living in your bubble to be happy and positive about everything, but one fine day you go out and meet someone who looks and sounds only like sour grapes, and then they spread their sourness all over you, or they brag away to glory about all their achievements, and you know it shouldn't matter, and yet you don't know what's hit you and suddenly you feel a little bit lower..than you were yesterday!

And that can be so frustrating.  When you cannot get better sense to prevail. Bah!

This list on thought catalog just rang so true. May seem to be an exaggeration to most of you, but oh dear, do I know how true it is or has been at multiple points in my life? I quote - "There is nothing more stressful, when it comes to introvert interaction, than the full-on phone call. Texts and emails are so easy —" This could be the story of my life. Of my entire life! So, all of you who have had unanswered phone calls and no call-backs from me, I could never even rationally explain it to myself, but this line just says it all. Please don't hold it against me. Please. I swear the thought of making phone calls to people, and just chatting is really and unexplainably stressfull to me.

Of course, she got the part about the online alter ego bang on as well. I mean, look at who you're talking to right now?

I miss clicking photos. Not that, not exactly, but I miss making beautiful things. I never even remember my camera these days. But since I named him, he must now have feelings, and I must not hurt them any more. So I promise to click some photos. Someday soon. Soon. Give me a month's time please.

Coming to the more serious issues I promised myself I'd write about, I've had friends, and doctors no less, tell me openly that they would get sex determination for their baby done, with help from their radiologist friends, and abort the female fetus if needed! And I've heard my radiology friends complain about doctors and relatives of doctors all coming in for scans and then asking for the SD. I am so unbelievably aghast with this state of affairs. And mostly, there is nothing you can tell these people to change their minds! They are well-educated, intelligent, and are women themselves!

On the other hand, the people at A Mighty Girl are doing such a fabulous job with their website and their facebook updates, I find myself longing to have a baby girl, just so I could raise her and tell her all those fantabulous stories! All of you who want daughters someday, or are already proud to have one, definitely head to their website and facebook page. This is one of those great things which makes you thank the good lord for having created the internet. Not that I don't thank him every hour of every day for the same any which ways. (Note to self: Try to better hide your internet addiction problems in future).

This gorgeous song has been my comfort zone for the past couple of months:

"Dard mein doobi dhun ho, seene mein ek sulgan ho.."

An old co-blogger posted something on facebook today, which reminded me about writing. The beauty and simplicity of it. The part of me I'm forgetting.

And I quote: "...The idea that somebody creates a piece of everlasting art, solely for you and because of you, will remind you what an insanely intoxicating drug it is, to have become your lover's muse."

Sigh. Read all of what she has to say here.

What is it really about girls and their eternal romanticism?

I think my blogs are repetitively about the same things, maybe yes, maybe not. I don't even care.

There are innumerable times when I develop cold feet, and feel convinced that I should shut down my blog, erase my name from the internet, or put an invisibility cloak and go anonymous. But then again, the need for gratification always wins, I guess. That, and other things.

I think I will end this post on that mysterious note. Bye, and I miss you all.